Peeing on oneself: all in a day’s work

I have been in Kamala since Sunday evening (it’s now Thursday) and have mostly been miserably ill up until this point. Yay salmonella.

I came down with horrible stomach pains on Saturday night and suffered the 7 hour drive to Kampala. I tried to sleep on the drive down (impossible) and got increasingly grumpy with the large amounts of unsolicited advice from my car-mates about adjusting to Ugandan food. At one point we got out and I found someone’s back-garden pit latrine. But you know what? People don’t always dig their pit latrines very deep, and splash back often occurs. So I returned to the car, hot, tired, grump, with stomach cramps, and pee all over my legs. I’m Uganda’s next-top-model.

Will you be my boyfriend?